Ezekiel and the Dry Bones, a slightly scary Bible story for Children

I think I might like to have a pet chicken. If I dig a hole and bury a chicken bone from last night's dinner, do you think I could grow a chicken? What if I put the bone in a cage with some chicken feed? If I wait long enough, will the chicken grow back around the old chicken bone? No, of course not. But let me tell you a story from the Bible about some bones that did come to life.

A very long time ago, a man named Ezekiel was sad. He and many other people who worshipped the one true God were taken away from their homes by soldiers and carried away to a place called Babylon, far from the temple in Israel where they worshipped God. God saw how sad His people were and didn't want them to lose hope, so He sent a vision to Ezekiel.

Now a vision is something like a dream, because it isn't really happening. It's also different than a dream, because Ezekiel saw it when he was awake. It was a picture God used to show Ezekiel what He was going to do for Israel. I think God has something to teach us from this vision, too.

In his vision, God set Ezekiel in the middle of a valley full of bones. Everywhere he looked, there were bones scattered on the ground. That would have been spooky enough, but as he looked carefully, Ezekiel saw that these weren't chicken bones or the bones of wild animals—they were people bones!

On the ground were skulls and anklebones, little rounded bones like the ones that make up your spine and long bones like the ones in your legs. There were little toe bones and stubby finger bones and curved rib bones and the tiny bones that belong inside the ear. It looked like the bones had been in the valley a long time, because they were very dry. God asked, "Ezekiel, can these bones live?"

What would you say?

Ezekiel wasn't sure. He answered God, "You are the only one who knows, Lord." Wasn't that a good answer? Then God told Ezekiel, "Tell these dry bones to listen to the word of the Lord." Say, "I am going to bring you back to life." Ezekiel obeyed God and said to the bones, "Hear the word of the Lord!" Then he watched carefully.

Ezekiel heard a little rustle, and then a louder rattle, and then so much clacking and rattling he could barely hear himself think! As he watched, bones began sorting themselves out and attaching themselves to each other—finger bones to hand bones, hand bones to wrist bones, wrist bones to arm bones and on and on.

Finally the skulls were plopped on top of the skeletons and they were finished—but wait! As Ezekiel watched, they grew muscles, and then they grew skin. They looked just like living people—a whole army of people made from the dry bones.
God told Ezekiel to speak again, and the army began to breathe and move. Now they were living people.

Remember, I told you that this story was a vision. There wasn't a real valley full of bones that came to life. But it was a real picture of how God would bring Ezekiel's people back to their home—He would make the nation that seemed dead alive again. It is also picture of something even more exciting; something that God can do for you and me.

God says that because of sin—the bad things that we do that displease God—our souls can't understand God and can't love Him. (Your soul is the part of you that thinks and has feelings and lives forever.) Our souls are dead toward God. Can they come alive? Yes! That's one thing we learned from Ezekiel's vision—God can make dead things come alive. And just like the bones came to life when they heard the words of the Lord, our souls can come alive toward God when we hear what He has to say in His Word, the Bible.

In the Bible, God tells us who He is—that He is the creator of the World and that He sent his Son so that people like us can be forgiven. He tells us about Jesus, God's Son who lived a perfect life and then died on the cross. Jesus came back to life again to show everyone that God accepted His death as punishment for the sins of His people. The Bible teaches us how our souls can be made alive and become part of an army of people who will live forever with God. Hear the word of the Lord!

The Theology of Coloring

I learned how to teach Sunday school from the women who taught me as a child. We'd go to class, sing a few songs, repeat a memory verse, listen to a Bible story with a moralistic application and then get out the big box of broken, smelly crayons. I colored my way through the Bible dozens of times during the course of my childhood. It was how things were done. And it's how I did things in my class, too.

And then someone asked me, "What do your students learn by coloring?"

That simple question started a chain of thought. What do they learn from coloring? What do they learn from the songs we sing? Is it enough just to help the children become familiar with Bible stories and send them off with a good moral lesson? Here are a few suggestions based on what I've learned in 20 years of teaching since then.

O be careful little mouth, what you sing. If you sing with your students in Sunday school, take a fresh look at the lyrics and what they teach. For example, nearly all children love to sing "Father Abraham" and perform the movements--but what does it mean to them, really? Or maybe you should try asking your students if they know what fountain is flowing deep and wide (or with bleach and Tide, depending on your song leader). I'm not against having fun with singing in Sunday school, but fun should never be the primary focus of the precious time you have with your students. Review your song list. Does it include songs with faulty theology or confusing lyrics? Believers aren't called to climb Jacob's ladder. Scripture is curiously silent about the location of Sunshine Mountain. We can do better.

My students enjoy singing Scripture set to familiar tunes. We learn one verse at a time and repeat all the songs each week. By the end of the semester they have an impressive number of verses painlessly memorized.¹ We also found songs that teach, for example, the books of the Bible, the ten plagues or the names of the disciples.² You can easily find more on the Internet or write your own to reinforce your specific lesson. You may want to consider teaching your students some of the old hymns, explaining the lyrics as you all learn them together.

Use crafts strategically. I have a little pile of hot-glued pebbles on my desk—the craft from a recent lesson. Every time I look at it, I'm reminded of Samuel's Ebenezer—his stone of remembrance—and to thank God that wherever I am in the day's schedule, I've come this far with His help (1 Samuel 7:12). It's fine to use crafts in class as long as there is a purposeful design behind it and you explain that concept to the children. You might want to create a craft that will help your students keep the memory verse in a place where they will see it, or serve others with gifts for parents or cards for shut ins. Just be sure to ask yourself that same question, "What are my students learning by doing this?" and make sure you convey the desired answer to the children.

Review, review, review. Even if you teach your lesson perfectly (and who does?), by the end of class your students will retain only a small percentage of what you said. By the next Sunday, they'll remember even less. It's vital to review the previous lessons each week in order to give context to what you're teaching and to plant the stories firmly in the minds of your students.

Review can be a part of the lesson the children look forward to. Be creative. In my class, we play a review game nearly every week. Primaries always want to play boys vs. girls, and so we have an ongoing challenge between the sexes. You can find many methods for review games online, like Jeopardy or hangman. There are also variations of board games, where the children advance a token as they correctly answer questions. You might consider having the children play in teams or at least with partners and allow your students to help each other. This avoids embarrassment for the child who doesn't have an answer and teaches the children to support each other.

Theology is not just for grown ups. As you teach through the Bible, you will find natural opportunities to teach big concepts to your class. Don't be afraid to try! Use the right theological terms, but explain them carefully and on the student's level. For example, the story of David and Goliath is the perfect vehicle to teach what it means to think theocentrically.³ Teach the difference between true repentance and remorse with the story of Saul. Explain our desperate need for an alien righteousness when you talk about the Ten Commandments. Children learn complex words in other areas of study, like science and music, so why not in your class, too?

Point to Christ. The ultimate goal of Christian education is to point our students to Christ. To accomplish this, you need to be intentional. Make sure you ask yourself, "What can this story teach my students about sin and salvation?" It's a challenge to find Jesus in every story that you teach, but by doing so you will be blessed by truth and you will bless your students.
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 ¹For example, use the tune for "Jingle Bells" to sing, "For while we-were still weak-at the right time-Christ died for the ungodly. Romans five, verse six." Christian Communicators Worldwide also offers a children's Bible memory program with music at http://www.ccwtoday.org/teachersparents_bibleabcs.asp
² See http://www.ccwtoday.org/teachersparents_learningbyheart.asp for some of these resources.
³ You might use a visual aide to help the children see that the Israelite army saw Goliath as big because they consider God rightly. David saw God as big, and so he saw Goliath as one of God's creations--subject to God's control.

Methodical Love

They loved her. The rest of the world remembers Frances Ridley Havergal for writing such great hymns as “Take my Life and Let it Be,” “Like a River Glorious” and “Count Your Many Blessings,” but to her fourteen students, she was just Miss Havergal, the dear woman who taught their Sunday school class.

Though Frances taught her class as a group, she thought of them as individuals, and it made all the difference. She created a register with a page for each of her students. She kept track of their attendance, noted and acknowledged their birthdays and faithfully recorded their prayer requests. She often wept as she prayed for her students, begging God to convert them and for Him to help her to teach. She visited her charges in their homes and invited them to hers. She talked with them about their souls and about their everyday life. She methodically invested in the lives of her students, and they loved her for it.[1]

 

I don’t think anyone handed Miss Havergal a Sunday school teacher's job description on her first day that included bullet points like “weep over their souls” or “send birthday notes.” She just loved her students. That love was expressed through simple, practical means, like remembering a birthday, or noticing an absence.

 

You don’t have to be a teacher or church leader to methodically express love in your own situation. Pick a small group of people, and look out for them. Decide what you are going to do, start small and consider using a checklist to help your memory.

 

Peter tells us to “love one another earnestly” (1 Peter 1:22). Are you methodically planning to do it? Can you imagine what your church would be like if everyone did?

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[1] Information about Frances Ridley Havergal was taken from the biography titled, Frances Ridley Havergal, Hymnwriter by Esther Enock, Ambassador, 2001.

I Wish You Hadn't Said That! : Guidelines for Speaking Correctly in Small Groups

I know you've been there. It's prayer request time in your small group meeting and someone says something that makes you squirm.

• "I think we should all be praying for Jane. She's been on my heart lately. She told me confidentially . . . "
• "We should be praying for our leadership. I still can't believe they decided to . . . "
• "My husband wouldn't tell anyone this, but he . . ."

Despite our best intentions, prayer request time and open discussion in a small group setting can be like an obstacle course. We want everyone to grow close and to talk freely about genuine issues in their lives, but while doing so, the group has to conquer hurdles of gossip, criticism and indiscreet speech. How can we both encourage honest communication and guard against unprofitable conversation? The following guidelines may help.

Don't tell the group anything about another church member that you don't have permission to tell. Some people in crisis would love to have your small group praying for them, but others choose to ask for prayers from only a few close friends. Be sure to ask before you mention their situation to your group.

Don't tell the group anything so personal about your spouse or child that it would break their confidence. It's important to remember that people feel differently about what's appropriate to share with the group. A good rule of thumb is, "What would happen if one of the group decided to discuss this situation with my family member?" If your spouse or child would be uncomfortable in such a situation, you should probably keep quiet. Also, be careful to avoid criticizing your family members in speaking to others. If you need counsel or support in a difficult family situation, choose one trustworthy person to talk to, not the whole group.

Don't repeat what you hear in the group without permission of the one who shares the information. If the individual experiencing a trial wants the whole church to know, he or she will tell them or give you permission to do so. Keeping confidences will build trust among the members of your small group.

Don't use the meeting to air your complaints against the church. Negative speech against the church or its leaders is always inappropriate in this forum. The Bible forbids both complaining (Philippians 2:14) and listening to idle complaints against elders (I Timothy 5:19). Exploring grievances in a small group forum is divisive because it breeds discontent and distrust (Proverbs 6:16-19; Titus 3:10-11). Talking directly to the leadership is the appropriate, biblical way to deal with genuine concerns (Matthew 18:15-17).

Remember that confidentiality within the group does not override God's instruction concerning church discipline. Don't expect the group to keep it a secret from the church leadership if you are continually and unrepentantly sinning in some area. If you are having an affair, harboring a grudge, etc., and make it clear you plan to continue in this sin, the group is obligated to act according to biblical guidelines (Matthew 18:15-17; Galatians 6:1; James 5:19-20; 1 Corinthians 5).

Everyone in the group is responsible for the conversation and its content. If the group strays into unprofitable speech, you need to correct them. If you are uncomfortable with the way the conversation is leaning, take responsibility to gently redirect it. Stopping a friend in mid-sentence with "Maybe we shouldn't be talking about this . . . . By the way, how did your prayer request from last week turn out?" is much kinder than allowing them to continue in speech they'll regret later. Silently enduring a session of gossip or criticism profits no one.

How to use these guidelines:
If you are starting a small group in the near future, consider presenting these ideas at the first meeting, and reviewing them periodically with the group. Existing groups can also adopt these guidelines. If your group doesn't, you can at least use them to monitor your own speech.

Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth,
but such as is good for edifying as the need may be,
that it may give grace to them that hear. Ephesians 4:29

Looking in From the Outside

Have you met the Jones family? They're fairly new to the church. In fact, they are always new to one church or another. They just can't seem to find a place where they fit in. The churches always seem welcoming enough, and the doctrine and preaching are fine. But when their status as visitors wears off and real church life begins, they are dissatisfied. They just can't seem to find their niche. They long for real fellowship—for mutual encouragement, correction, and for the experience of belonging to a loving family that shares joys and trials—but don't find it. They attend less and less, and finally go off in search of a new church to start the process all over again.

Or perhaps you've seen Sally. She's been attending on the edges of fellowship for 10 years or more. She's given up the hope of finding meaningful relationships in the church, and you can see the resentful disappointment in her face. She flees as soon as the last hymn is sung, never attends any other church functions and frankly, no one notices. Sally understands that she has no real connections in the church and that she's missing something that she hungers for, but she doesn't know how to fix it.

Or perhaps you haven't just met these folks; perhaps you are these folks. Or at least, you can identify with their feelings of being on the outside of real, intimate fellowship in the church. I've experienced times like that in my life, too, and believe it or not, it wasn't the fault of the church. I wasn't doing everything the Bible commanded me to do as a member of the body. What about you?

Are you showing up consistently? And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some . . . (Hebrews 10:24-25a) You won't have close relationships in the church if you don't make spending time with the people a priority. That means that you attend regularly, and not just the worship service. Does your church offer small groups? A men's or women's Bible study? Find a group that fits your situation, and commit to attend regularly.

Are you serving? As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace (1 Peter 4:10). Have you let the church leadership know that you want to serve? When you are new to a fellowship, it may be take a little time to find just the right place, so be flexible. Be willing to work in supporting roles and be utterly dependable, and God will lead you to the best avenue of service.

You may need to invent a new ministry! An elderly gentleman I know was limited in the ways he could contribute. He became "the birthday man" who sent cards to all the children in the church, letting them know he was praying for them on their special day. The children (and their parents) went out of their way to meet the man who sent the cards. His simple act of service created a bridge for him to get to know and support young families.

Are you encouraging others? . . . but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near (Hebrews 10:25b). Did you just hear an extremely helpful sermon or Bible lesson? Were you encouraged by someone in a personal conversation? Are you grateful for godly leadership in your church? Communicate! Talk to the person who blessed you, send an email, or better yet, a handwritten note.

Make an effort to greet one person you don't know well every time you attend. They may be feeling as disconnected as you do! Even something as simple as a smile can be an encouragement to a brother or sister who feels discouraged or lonely. A smile also encourages others to talk to you. Don't be known as the scary person with the angry expression, but as characteristically warm, smiling and approachable.

Are you helping others and showing hospitality? Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:13) When the church asks for volunteers to help someone move or provide meals for the sick, make yourself available. You'll get to know the people you help and forge the beginnings of a relationship.

Even though it may be intimidating, try inviting someone from church over for lunch or out for coffee. If you are a poor conversationalist like I am, it takes some pressure off to invite two people over at the same time (since they can keep the conversation rolling when I'm tongue-tied). Keep it simple and don't get hung up on presenting a perfect house or gourmet food. Let the focus be on relationship instead of on your entertaining skills. Just think what a difference you could make in Sally's life by making the first move in building a relationship!

Did you notice that most of these suggestions encourage us to look outward—toward those we can help—and not inward, wishing someone would reach out to us? When we start meeting the needs of others instead of waiting for others to meet ours, we'll suddenly find our place in the life of the body. Try it!

Helping Friends Who Receive The Call We All Dread

It's happened to all of us. We get a call or an email letting us know that someone we love has a family member in the hospital in serious condition, and we want to help. Our hearts immediately turn to prayer, but along with that, we long to find tangible ways to help our friends bear their burden (Gal.6:2). Here are some suggestions to get us started.

Be there. Our natural inclination is to be afraid of intruding at a difficult time, but just showing up at the hospital to sit for a few minutes with a friend in the waiting room will remind the family they aren't alone. Don't worry about what to say. Just ask a few questions and let them do the talking. Knowing that there are friends concerned enough to show up and to pray for a loved one (whom they might not even know) gives great comfort.

Be specific. Instead of a well-intentioned comment like "if there's anything I can do. . ." offer a specific service, no matter how small. You might suggest taking their turn in the nursery at church or helping out at home by mowing a lawn, collecting mail, watering plants or babysitting. Or, you might prefer to be a liaison between the family and a group of friends (like a Sunday School class or home group), sending out email updates or making phone calls to pass along information. At the hospital, you might ask if there's a specific time the family would like for you to sit with the patient when they won't be available to do so. If you can't think of a specific way to help, ask your friend about their to-do list and see if you can help with one of those tasks.

Be creative. Think of simple things the family might need. You might provide a small bag with items like a notepad, pens, a crossword puzzle book, a magazine, wet wipes, and mints. Or perhaps you could bring bottled water and healthy snacks (fruit, granola bars) for their vigil in the waiting room. Even the most seasoned believer may have run out of the house without a Bible when they received the call that their loved one was ill. Consider providing an inexpensive one for the family to use and perhaps leave in the waiting room when the crisis is over. Meals at home are often appreciated. For something different, consider providing a deli tray so that when family members dash home for a quick shower or change of clothes, they can also grab a quick sandwich.

Be comforting. Deep and lasting comfort in trials comes from Scripture, and especially from what is revealed there about the character of God. You'll have favorite verses to share, but you might also consider Hebrews 4:15 (Jesus sympathizes with us), Psalm 56:8 (God is aware of our suffering), Isaiah 41:10 and Psalm 23:4 (we have nothing to fear when God is with us), and Romans 8:35 (suffering does not separate us from the love of God). Try to avoid quoting Scriptures rapid-fire at the family. Instead, let a Scripture verse come up naturally in your conversation or write out two or three applicable verses so the family can review them later.

Be dedicated. While ministering to the family at the onset of a crisis is invaluable, so is continued contact as days and weeks pass by. Even if you didn't get in touch with the family initially, be assured that calling later, sending cards or visiting will be welcome as recovery continues. You may consider sending a card to the patient every week, or emails letting the family know that you are continuing to pray for their loved one. Ask regularly for specific prayer requests, and rejoice with the family when God grants them.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Things you don't need

Just for fun, here are a few items you don't need from Amazon:

From a review:"The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That's when I found the 571B Banana Slicer." The reviews of this item made me laugh until I cried.


Glad there's a matching set . . .

Hospitality the Easy Way

Fried hotdogs, macaroni and cheese from a box and canned green beans are hardly the stuff of which great culinary memories are made, but this was the menu that changed my life. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but let me explain.

When I was a new mother and a new Christian, one of the older women in the church graciously invited me to lunch in her home. I expected to find what my mother would have provided, a home that had been freshly scrubbed from top to bottom, tiny sandwiches on fine china, a rich dessert that took hours to make and a nervous, exhausted hostess. What I got was, well, you guessed it. Fried hotdogs, macaroni and cheese from a box, canned green beans in a cluttered home daycare center—and a whole new, relaxed attitude about entertaining. From this enjoyable lunch and many after, I learned from my friend that the biblical command to show hospitality isn't about a perfect menu or a spotless home, but about kindness and inclusiveness. Below I've listed a few ideas to help make hospitality easy to provide, as Peter said, without grumbling.

Make it routine. Every Sunday after church, a friend's family prepares brunch—eggs, pancakes, hash browns and sausage. Everyone in the family has an assigned task and the menu is always the same, so adding another family only means cracking a few more eggs and setting a few more chairs at the table. This simple, inexpensive menu allows the family flexibility to invite visitors home after church without knowing the exact number of guests to expect.

Another friend's "company dinner" menu seldom varies—meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans. As she says, "It's not about the food." So she streamlined the work of menu planning, always has her ingredients on hand and knows her simple recipe by heart.

Do what you can. Obeying the command to provide hospitality doesn't mean you have to invite the entire church for a formal dinner. One young couple I know lived in a small apartment on a tight budget, but extended hospitality by inviting our home group for cocoa and conversation after a Christmas caroling party. It doesn't take much room or money to have a few people over for popcorn and board games, or to watch a rented DVD.

Be creative. Different circumstances call for displaying hospitality in different ways—it won't always mean Sunday dinner. Do you attend church without your husband? Perhaps you should consider hosting lunch for some women during the day when he's at work, or offering your home for a regular daytime Bible study. Single? You are in a perfect position to minister to others in the same situation. How about inviting an elderly widow over for a simple dinner? One older woman I know prepares Sunday breakfast for two young, single students that live in her apartment building. They love having a home-cooked meal, and she enjoys mothering them. Pray that the Holy Spirit will help you find ways to express hospitality in your unique situation.

Make hospitality a lifestyle. Though we usually think of hospitality in relationship to our homes, I encourage you to expand the definition. Many of the same skills that you use to make a guest feel comfortable in your home can be used to make a guest feel comfortable in your church or small group. Introduce yourself and then introduce others to the guest. Find a common ground for conversation. Show them where to find classrooms and restrooms. Make sure they know they are welcome.

Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.
Matthew 25:40

Christian Romance Novels: Our Dirty Little Secret?

She was an intimate friend, and I was in her confidence from the beginning. She was feisty and quite pretty, but not in a fussy way. Life dealt her some hard blows, but she was self-sufficient and didn't need a man to take care of her—or at least, so she thought. I could have told her the right man would be the answer to all her problems, but she never seemed to listen. I suffered with her through tragedy and trembled when her life was in peril. And I felt a vicarious delight when he came on the scene—the strong, handsome, masculine hero that would rescue her from her lonely, cold existence and teach her all about real love. Oh, and I almost forgot—they went to church sometimes.

That's the plot, more or less, of every Christian romance novel I've ever read. In the past, I read a lot of them. If you are like most believing women I know, at some point you've read one, too. Obviously someone is reading them. One major Christian bookseller has over 2,000 current titles listed in this category. There are several clubs that send members a new Christian romance novel every week. While you are waiting for the mailman to deliver the next selection, you can surf to an author fan site or one of dozens of sites that review and suggest books in this genre.

So, is this a harmless area of Christian liberty? I'll let you decide. But it wouldn't hurt to look more carefully at what we are reading and how it might—just might—be a problem for some of us.

Have you turned off your intellect? When researchers asked women why they read Christian romance, an overwhelming majority said they valued the books because they inspired an emotional response. That's not necessarily wrong, but we need to be discerning even when reading fiction. For example, whole series of novels are written that are "Christian" in name only. The characters are practical atheists who may attend church, but their faith does not impact their decisions. We don't want to passively accept this as normative Christian behavior.

We also have to remember that in these books, God behaves in the way the author causes Him to behave. The theology illustrated in the book is always fallible because the author is fallible. It's easy to get discouraged when we read over and over about God speaking audibly to the characters in a novel, or when we see that their loved ones always get saved before the last chapter. It's also worth mentioning that some romantic situations in these books may actually be adultery, depending on the author's view of divorce and remarriage. If you read them, do so with your head as well as your heart, and don't let them shape your understanding of God.

Does it teach idolatry? I know that sounds harsh, but hear me out. If the heroine in your novels is always saved by a lover, that's a false redemption. Christ is our Redeemer, and God is our ever-present help in time of trouble. Our hope is in Christ, not in Prince Charming. No mere man can fix all our problems. Accepting this idolatrous view of romantic relationships will cause you to place pressures on your husband that will end in deep disappointment, if not disaster. Only Jesus can be your Savior.

Is it changing your expectations? This is a subtle problem and nearly impossible to self-diagnose. Do you think that God will always wrap up all the loose ends in your life in a timely manner? Do you expect your life to always be exciting, or your work always fulfilling? Should you always be the center of attention? Do you fantasize about being rescued by a man from a situation in which you feel helpless? If so, you may have been influenced by reading Christian romances.

Is it a form of emotional adultery? God has designed our relationship with Him, the marriage relationship and our relationships in the church to meet our deep need for emotional intimacy. We may unintentionally circumvent this plan by vicariously identifying with heroine after heroine in these novels, selfishly meeting our own emotional needs instead of letting those needs drive us into real, sometimes messy, relationships.

Is it a steady diet? Finishing a Christian romance novel is a little like taking the last bite of a hot fudge sundae. We usually feel a little sad that it's over. The fantasy has ended and we return to our comparatively boring, unglamorous, meat-and-potatoes lives. The temptation is, of course, to immediately pick up a new book and immerse ourselves in a new fantasy.

In the same way that we should not allow a steady diet of hot fudge sundaes, we should not allow ourselves a steady diet of popular fiction. If we do so, we miss the chance to read material that will teach us good theology, help us grow as believers, and develop realistic expectations about relationships and spirituality.

Instead, I urge you to try reading biographies of Christian women like Ann Judson, Amy Carmichael or Sarah Edwards. Many women have found the books Stepping Heavenward and Pilgrim's Progress to be helpful works of fiction. Ask your pastor or a trusted older woman in your church to recommend more titles. Challenge yourself to read books of substance.

 

A Letter to a Sister Near Despair

Dear Sister in Christ,

I am so sorry that you feel overwhelmed. I’d venture to say that most believing women have experienced days in which we have to use all our will power just to get out of bed. I know from personal experience how prolonged depression drains all the joy from life, but there is hope. I'm sending along the following suggestions from my own experience with discouragement. You may be doing some of them already.

Try not to give in to it. It's easier just to lie down in bleakness than to fight against it, but that's where the rub comes in. It's like physical exercise—if you don't keep working at it, you'll lose the progress you've made and become weaker and weaker.

Working hard to stay in the same place may not seem worth it, but sometimes just not sinking further is all you can do. Remember that your despair isn't only hurting you. It impacts your family and all the other people who love you. It’s worth the fight.

Spend time in prayer and the Psalms. Psalmists were no strangers to dark days. They cried out to God in honest, gut-wrenching bleakness and He answered their cries. He couldn't answer unless they cried— it is a necessary prerequisite (Psalm 107:13). Read their prayers, and when you do, pray what they pray if their words express your own emotions.

Ask God to show you the next right thing to do. Try to live in moment-by-moment trust in God. Depend on God completely and obey what He seems to bring to your mind to do (as long as it agrees with the Bible). I often do this when I start to feel overwhelmed. I say, "God, what's one right thing I can do now—one small step I can manage to serve you, my family, or my church?" It may be as simple as putting away a load of laundry or writing an encouraging note to someone else, but it helps me focus on something outside myself (Phil. 2:4). Looking at a whole day may be overwhelming, but you can do the next right thing, 5 minutes at a time.

Try to be grateful. Force yourself to thank God for blessings in your life over and over again during the day. Maybe you'll want to thank Him for providing for your family every time you go into the kitchen or for your salvation every time you see your Bible. If you spend your day in tears, thank God for His promise to wipe them all away in Heaven. Build thankfulness into your daily routine and it will help change your perspective (1 Thess. 5:18).

Turn your thoughts toward Christ. Instead of allowing your mind to circle the drain of depression or to focus on trivial things, think about God. This is tough, and will call for some real discipline when it's so much easier to give in to thinking black, despairing thoughts. Every time your mind thinks "worthless" choose to think instead of the One Who is worthy. When you think "I don't care," remember the One Who has tender care for your soul. It might help to make up a few cards with encouraging or Christ-exalting Scriptures to scatter around the house (Heb. 12:2-3).

Show up. Make yourself get out of the house. Don't skip fellowship opportunities or church meetings (Heb. 10:25), even if you end up crying all the way through them. Real fellowship with other believers means sharing burdens (Gal. 6:2). Isolating yourself will make things worse.

Don't forget that your body and mind are connected. Walk around a little. Go to bed at night. Brush your teeth, take showers and wash your hair. Don't forget to eat real meals (1Cor. 6:19-20).

I know this letter will make you feel like someone is asking you to do more impossible things, but stick with me. Remember that the goal is not just to feel better, but that you will be shown to be an obedient servant and Christ will be exalted.

Love,

Susan

Copyright © 2012 Susan Verstraete.