What Holds Us Back from Letting it Go

Yesterday I finally threw them away. I had several jars of home-canned beans on a shelf in my basement that we were never going to eat. I think they were about seven years old, and I was afraid that the quality and nutritional value of the food (not to mention the taste and texture) was not good. My mom had canned them back when she was feeling well. She always canned more green beans than our family could use. After she got sick, I couldn’t bear to throw away this tangible expression of her love for us.

That’s one of the most difficult things about purging the house. How can I throw away gifts that were given as in love? The beans my mom canned, the pictures my Sunday school students draw for me, the gifts of clothing that don’t fit or the knickknacks from Christmas . . . I know you have this stuff, too.

Here’s what I try to remember:

1.       The giver never meant for this item to be a burden I need to keep shuffling from place to place in my home. Their intent was to give me something I could use or enjoy. Mom would be the first to understand about the beans. In fact, I remember her struggling to throw out huckleberries my grandmother put up—Mom experienced exactly the same situation!

2.       The gift is not the affection someone felt for me — it was a result of the affection. Throwing out an item is not throwing away love.

3.       I can keep the items that bring me joy and happy memories, like the handmade gifts from my children or a special coffee mug from my husband. Art from my students can be photographed and saved to a computer file. Some things are worth saving even if they have no other purpose but making me smile. I have a talking mustache keychain that falls into this category.

4.      Some things that make me sad will probably always make me sad. I can let them go. Today I threw away all the condolence cards I saved when my mom died.  They were sweet expressions of loving kindness from my friends, but they reminded me of an awful time in my life. (One exception to this is when grief is fresh. When mom died, I could not bear to see her photo for the first several months. Now that a few years have passed, I treasure those pictures.)

5.       Sometimes it helps to wait. If something doesn’t go in this purge, I know there will be another one next year. So if I can’t bear to let something go right now, it doesn’t mean I will have it for the rest of my life. The guilt or attachment I feel to certain items changes over time. I won’t beat myself up over holding on to a few extra items for one more year.
 

6.   Sometimes it helps to remember that one day, I will be called to give up everything. No physical item will go with me to Heaven. There's nothing I own that I need to be perfectly happy and at peace with God.

A 10 Point Theology for Decluttering

Here's what I preach to myself as I declutter in January:

1.       Life does not consist in the abundance of possessions. Luke 12:15

2.       Spiritual life can be choked out by clutter, which is part of "the cares and riches of this life. " Luke 8:14

3.       God is pleased when we give things away cheerfully.  2 Cor. 9:7

4.       Sharing our excess goods is one way to bear fruit in keeping with repentance. Luke 3:11

5.       One of God’s names is Jehova Jira – God who provides. If we give away something and end up needing it later, we can trust God to provide. Phil. 4:19

6.       Giving to those in need stores riches for us in Heaven, and is an expression of love for the church.  Luke 12:33

7.       Sharing what we have pleases God. Hebrews 13:16

8.       Everything we own has been given to us by God.  We are only stewards of our stuff. Psalm 24:1
 

9.    God is not a God of confusion, but of order (think about how this is exemplified in creation).  An orderly home reflects God's character. Genesis 1
 

10. Hoarding goods "just in case" can be a way of trusting my stuff to keep me safe and happy instead of my God. Psalm 31:6

The January House Purge

The day after Christmas is the saddest day in the kid calendar. Even if every material wish has been granted, all of us, kids and adults alike, find the reality of possession much less exciting than the expectation of it. The day after Christmas the plug has been pulled, and we all begin to circle the drain of normality. Soon the kids will return to school, the parents to work, and the cold gray months of January and February will grind on.

In our family, the tree comes down the day after Christmas. (As my cousin says, “There’s nothing sadder than a tree with no presents.”) The decorations are packed away for next year, and the annual house purging begins.

My goal in purging our home of clutter and excess is being able to access any particular item without moving other items to find it. It isn’t always possible. Another rule of thumb is that any time during the year that I hear a family member rummaging for something and getting angry as they try to dig it out, I take action. I can’t protect my husband from workplace frustration or my son from traffic or either of them from a thousand other irritations in life, but I can get rid of excess clutter and organize my home so that they can find the scissors and the tape on the first try.

As we are growing older, my husband and I find that having a few well used tools we can access freely is a thousand times better than having the perfect gadget for the job buried deep in a drawer full of other perfect gadgets. I’d rather chop a mountain of onions with my knife than move six items to unearth my perfect onion-chopper. Somehow, though, it seems we forget that during the course of the year. At least, I can say that every year, we have no shortage of items to purge. How else did I accumulate three drip coffee makers and a coffee press?

So from now until the end of January, we purge and organize and give away our excess to those who can use it joyfully. We affirm, in this practical way, that life does not consist of the abundance of our possessions (Luke 12:15).

“Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.”
― G.K. Chesterton

“Yet as I read the birth stories about Jesus I cannot help but conclude that though the world may be tilted toward the rich and powerful, God is tilted toward the underdog.”
― Philip Yancey

“And when we give each other Christmas gifts in His name, let us remember that He has given us the sun and the moon and the stars, and the earth with its forests and mountains and oceans--and all that lives and move upon them. He has given us all green things and everything that blossoms and bears fruit and all that we quarrel about and all that we have misused--and to save us from our foolishness, from all our sins, He came down to earth and gave us Himself.”
― Sigrid Undset

“How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, His precepts!”
― Benjamin Franklin

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6

. . . for it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child himself. - Dickens

"Who among us will celebrate Christmas correctly? Whoever finally lays down all power, all honor, all reputation, all vanity, all arrogance, all individualism beside the manger; whoever remains lowly and lets God alone be high; whoever looks at the child in the manger and sees the glory of God precisely in his lowliness." Dietrich Bonhoeffer

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly."
~ Andy Rooney

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
Gilbert K. Chesterton

"When God chose a human father for His Son, He chose a man who would be righteous and kind, qualities that reflect God the Father Himself." - J. Ligon Duncan III

"What God did when He sent His son into the World is an absolute guarantee that he will do everything He has ever promised to do. . . .Whatever your condition may be, whatever may happen to you, He has said, 'I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee' (Heb. 13:5 kjv)--and He will not. He has said so, and we have absolute proof that He fulfills His promises."--Martyn Lloyd-Jones

"The gift of Christmas gives you a resource--a comfort and consolation--for dealing with suffering, because in it we see God's willingness to enter this world of suffering to suffer with us and for us."--Tim Keller

"For whatever reason, God chose to make man as he is--limited and suffering and subject to sorrows and death--He had the honesty and courage to take His own medicine. . . . He has Himself gone through the whole of human experience, from the trivial irritations of family life and the cramping restrictions of hard work and lack of money to the worst horrors of pain and humiliation, defeat, despair and death. . . . He was born in poverty and died in disgrace, and thought it was worthwhile."--Dorthy Sayers

"To this poor maiden marvelous things were announced:that she should be the mother of the All Highest, whose name should be the Son of God. He would be a King and of His kingdom there would be no end. It took a mighty reach of faith to believe that this baby would play such a role. Well might Mary have said, 'Who am I, little worm, that I should bear a King?' She might have doubted, but she shut her eyes and  trusted God. . . " Martin Luther

". . . and sure you cannot act more agreeable, either to the season, to the time, or for the Glory of God, than in relieving His poor distressed servants." George Whitfield

" . . .Let us celebrate and keep this festival of our church with joy in our hearts: let the birth of a Redeemer, which redeemed us from sin, from wrath, from death, from Hell, be always remembered; may this Savior's love never be forgotten! May we sing forth all His love and glory as long as life shall last here, and through an endless eternity in the world above!" George Whitfield