What Holds Us Back from Letting it Go

Yesterday I finally threw them away. I had several jars of home-canned beans on a shelf in my basement that we were never going to eat. I think they were about seven years old, and I was afraid that the quality and nutritional value of the food (not to mention the taste and texture) was not good. My mom had canned them back when she was feeling well. She always canned more green beans than our family could use. After she got sick, I couldn’t bear to throw away this tangible expression of her love for us.

That’s one of the most difficult things about purging the house. How can I throw away gifts that were given as in love? The beans my mom canned, the pictures my Sunday school students draw for me, the gifts of clothing that don’t fit or the knickknacks from Christmas . . . I know you have this stuff, too.

Here’s what I try to remember:

1.       The giver never meant for this item to be a burden I need to keep shuffling from place to place in my home. Their intent was to give me something I could use or enjoy. Mom would be the first to understand about the beans. In fact, I remember her struggling to throw out huckleberries my grandmother put up—Mom experienced exactly the same situation!

2.       The gift is not the affection someone felt for me — it was a result of the affection. Throwing out an item is not throwing away love.

3.       I can keep the items that bring me joy and happy memories, like the handmade gifts from my children or a special coffee mug from my husband. Art from my students can be photographed and saved to a computer file. Some things are worth saving even if they have no other purpose but making me smile. I have a talking mustache keychain that falls into this category.

4.      Some things that make me sad will probably always make me sad. I can let them go. Today I threw away all the condolence cards I saved when my mom died.  They were sweet expressions of loving kindness from my friends, but they reminded me of an awful time in my life. (One exception to this is when grief is fresh. When mom died, I could not bear to see her photo for the first several months. Now that a few years have passed, I treasure those pictures.)

5.       Sometimes it helps to wait. If something doesn’t go in this purge, I know there will be another one next year. So if I can’t bear to let something go right now, it doesn’t mean I will have it for the rest of my life. The guilt or attachment I feel to certain items changes over time. I won’t beat myself up over holding on to a few extra items for one more year.
 

6.   Sometimes it helps to remember that one day, I will be called to give up everything. No physical item will go with me to Heaven. There's nothing I own that I need to be perfectly happy and at peace with God.